Category Archives: Seriously

The Final Plague

This morning, our washer made two clunks in the middle of the wash cycle (How Ominous, I Know) and then left our home for The Laundry Room In The Sky.  I cannot say that this was totally unexpected as again, like the furnace and the water heater, it was an original-to-the-house appliance.

BUT.

I think we can all agree that there has been quite enough Pestilence.  My father-in-law jokingly called this the 10th Plague and seriously guys, he wasn’t really wrong.  In the spirit of Our Upcoming Holiday, it is only appropriate to recap what has Fallen Upon Our House In The Last 12 Weeks:

My car got a flat tire, my car battery died, Marcus’ car got rear ended, his car’s transmission tried to darken death’s door but was saved by a second opinion, we had to replace our furnace/water heater/microwave, I got an ocular migraine and was subsequently sent to the ER, got mastitis, and I had two moles removed and biopsied.

My mother-in-law’s car was rear-ended in our driveway,  I got a horrific head cold, the furnace people neglected to reconnect our air conditioner which we did not discover until the temperatures were ranging into the mid-70s.  A hive of bees made its home outside of our front door.

The washer died.

Dayenu.

I’m not recapping all of this again because I’m begging to be pitied (though I did actually shed some tears this AM because OMG ENOUGH AND WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING).  I’m writing it down so that someday, when Little Critter joins our family (a long ways off, to be sure), I remember that all of this super insane stuff happened while Critter was just a wee pup and it all turned out Fine.

Not only did it turn out fine, but at the end of the day, Critter is a healthy, thriving baby boy and that is really all that matters.  All of this is survivable, or merely an inconvenience, as long as he is Okay.  We’ll just keep leaving a wake of destruction and dollar bills and watch the days race by as he continues to grow.

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Soothing Through Organizing

After last night’s post, I’m wondering if I shouldn’t be calling y’all Woolen Warriors instead of kittens.  Because it would seem that we are all cardigan-hoarders.

I love it.

Today is the kind of day where I feel like I’ve spent the entirety of the it raising one or both eyebrows.  Not in a skeptical-sort of way, but in a Seriously?-sort of way.  In an I Am Not Impressed-sort of way.

You know, the kind of day where you want to start planning out the next few days just to ignore the reality of this one.  Not because it has been bad (it hasn’t) but because it’s the kind of day where something just doesn’t feel…resolved.

Yes, THAT.

As a cherry on top of the cake, I decided to check my horoscopes, which is what I do recreationally and when I need answers to something quickly that I just don’t have the time to figure out on my own.

If you learned nothing else from the centaurs in Harry Potter, it’s that the answers are in the sky.

And yes, I said horoscopes, plural.  Because under the old horoscope I was a Virgo and under the new horoscope I’m a Leo.  I’m still as confused about all of that as you are.  The whole old-new thing.  But I think it’s important to hedge my bets and check all the things, just in case.

The Virgo horoscope said that “dark, depressing dreams could plague your sleep tonight,” and the Leo horoscope said “Your concentration is likely to be off and what your reading will probably look like Greek to you.”

Can we all agree that The Universe has totally set me up for success here?  Because I don’t know how much more ominous we could get.

So right now I’m meal planning (which is usually relegated to the weekends) and grocery list re-writing because for God only knows what reason, that feels soothing to me.

It probably has to do with the Type A within and the need to organize…something.

Say what you will, those lists look a hundred times better than they did 20 minutes ago.  And right now I’m craving Mexican, so that’s pretty much all we’ll be eating next week.

Whims: They get things done.

What do you do to de-stress?

Are you soothed by order like I am?

For vanity’s sake.

Happy Tuesday, kittens!

I have to tell you, I’m still in total denial that Thanksgiving is next week.  I feel like we’ve only just gotten to the middle of November and suddenly, we’ve nearly reached the end of the month.

I haven’t even gotten the chance to make my hand turkeys yet, for crying out loud.

Don’t fret, my best efforts at burying my head in the sand haven’t kept me from bookmarking recipes for stuffing and potato casseroles and the multitude of things you can do with leftover turkey.

Um.

Check back with me next week.

For vanity’s sake, tonight I decided to attempt another self-portrait.

And I thought I took a fair number of decent snaps, until I realized that I was sporting a MAJOR muffin top in all of them.

Ooops.  Not suitable for public consumption.

See?  Blogging: Not just fun and games.

It’s constant vigilance all the time.

So instead, y’all get a bug-eyed kissy-face peace sign.  Because that’s what everybody needs for an It’s almost the middle of the week-pick-me-up.

How original.  I know.

In some circles they call that getting back on the horse.

I promise that next time, I’ll try to bring you something more inventive.

For now I’m left to ponder important stuff like, Is J.Crew’s Neon Peach really my color?  How bad are my roots?  I really need to fix that Tiffany’s bracelet that exploded on me the day before the marathon.  Should I do my mirror face all the time?

Seriously.

Have you ever committed a photo faux pas?

Are you mentally prepared for Thanksgiving?

A Head Start on Fall Fashion: The Working Woman

Last week I promised you Career, which is not entirely unlike being a fish out of water for those members of the group who exclusively embrace the seasons of Fall and Resort.

While the chosen apparel of The Working Woman tends towards Fall more than anything else, halfway there is by no means all the way there.

Welcome to the new regime.

Some selections.  To get your mind going.

Not-so-much smokin’ stuff, but worn correctly, some of it could be…flattering.  Which is kind of the heart of the matter here.

Humor me for a moment.

Raise one hand if you’ve tried on “work clothes” and they’ve made you look like a box.

Now, raise the other hand if you have shown up at work before and you felt like everything you somehow managed to squeeze into made you feel like a sausage.

Finally, have a laugh if you’re actually sitting in your cubicle right now with both hands in the air.

Me too.

We’ve all been there.

I understand that people apply all sorts of rules when picking out professional clothing, but for women, I think it boils down to one simple question:

Will people judge me when I wear this?

To which there are two possible answers…

  1. Yes.  If the answer is “yes,” try to determine if they’re going to be jealous OR if they’re going to be secretly laughing because you made like Michael Scott in that one episode of The Office where he wears a women’s suit.  If it’s a jealous-yes, then buy it in every color.
  2. No.  Your selection is probably safe.  And deeply unmemorable.

Given that I’m the girl who spent the entirety of last winter in a parade of J.Crew Perfect-Fit Crew Neck Long-Sleeved Shirts with coordinating, contrasting-pashminas I will be the first to tell you that it’s okay to go either way.

But in light of recent events (read: the fact that I will be gearing up for another winter with The Company), I felt like we had probably reached the logical point for me to start taking pride in my appearance.

Or at least trying to make it look like I do.

We all know seeing is believing.

Target has been having some crazy end-of-season sales lately, so after a few stops at the stores in Edina and Plymouth, I was able to amass all of these goodies for ~$150.

Yes, seriously, I own blazers now.

Here I was thinking that I would never have to touch another blazer or suit for as long as I live and now…this.

We’ve regressed.

Given the fact that I already have The Monopoly on cardigans, drape-y cardigans and ruffled tanks, it kind of seemed like it was time for me to pick up a few of those shells where you could dry clean/iron them if you really wanted to, but you could also just hang-up directly out of the dryer.

Those are the types of tops that say, “I see a future here.”  And as long as they’re a color other than white, express some sort of attempt at individualism.

See one on the sale rack?  Not sure if it’s your color?  Buy it anyway.  You’ll thank yourself on the morning when you have nothing to wear and the tags are still on it.

What’s your favorite piece of work clothing?

What’s the worst outfit you’ve ever worn to work?

Sometimes you just have to get out of the house.

On Thursday night, I thought I was tired because my eyelids were fighting a losing battle with gravity.  But on my way home from work yesterday, I realized that this week absolutely kicked the crap out of me.

The worst part?  It took no names.

I KNOW.

Earlier in the day, Marcus and I had batted around the idea of going on a Dive Bar Date.  But then laziness crept in reality hit and we realized that with the amount of effort it was going to take to Plan and Organize, we really just needed to get out of the house.

Or else that bottle of Two Buck Chuck wasn’t going to stand a chance.

Armed with a Parasole gift card, we headed over to The Cafeteria to relax on their rooftop patio with a happy hour that runs until 7:00 PM.  What’s not to love about that, right?

And yes, for those of you who were wondering, Marcus was trying to channel Vampire Bill post-silvering with the bags under his eyes.

Lest you think that my weekend has been all cocktails and the great outdoors, this afternoon, I got to attend a baby shower for Stephanie and Baby.  She’s due mid-October, and the hostesses did a wonderful job of making sure that wonderfully sweet touches were included.

Instead of traditional shower games, we did a lovely activity where we filled out cards with hopes and dreams for the little one.

I think this should be mandatory at all showers.

And in addition to a lovely luncheon spread that Sara put together, Laura went to town and created a literal jungle of treats.

Obviously y’all know that I was in heaven 🙂

A little tale to close with: As the shower was coming to an end, I was bouncing Sara’s little daughter around.  I’m not usually the first in-line to hold babies because quite honestly, they overwhelm me.  But anyway, I’m bopping about with the little tot for a good 20 minutes or so, and suddenly I felt a trickle of water run down the back of my leg.

Yes, seriously, I was sweating.

Who knew that entertaining babies was such hard work?

What is your favorite game to play at baby showers?

On a scale of 1 – Insane, how would your rate this week?

Personally, I’d probably give it a 9.5 myself.

p.s. I’ll be drawing for the winner of the giveaway tomorrow!

A Traitor in Our Midst

I don’t know about you all, but has anyone else noticed that appliances seem to be going down left and right lately?  I’ve probably read/heard enough stories from people I know to fill up both hands and then some.

I will say that as per the Law of Large Numbers, I was getting rather good at the whole listening-sympathy thing…Because it’s impossible to NOT feel bad for somebody when their Air Conditioner went out on a ninety degree day.

But I guess it’s good that I didn’t use all of that sympathy and patience up.  Our Dishwasher is a Joiner and out of nowhere on Tuesday night, it decided to spring a rather festive leak as it cycled.

The Traitor Dishwasher

I was hoping in my heart of hearts that it was merely a by-product of something we had loaded in.  Or one of those freaky incidents.

Mais, non.  We’re in it for the long haul, kittens.

Marcus left messages with appliance repair companies across the cities, but I’m guessing that at this point in the week, with the best case scenario we’re still probably looking at a Monday morning fix .

How lucky.

The thought of having to wash dishes by hand (I know, seriously…first world problem) had me all up in knots.  But when we stopped by David and Sue’s tonight (Marcus had to help them haul some things about for the Master Suite renovation they’re doing right now) I was pleasantly surprised.

Having assumed that the hotel tossed our cake post-reception, I was thrilled to learn that they were storing it for us in their freezer.

You see, in addition to all of the cupcakes, we got a two tier “cutter” cake for us to slice at the ceremony.  My biggest regret?  That I didn’t eat more of it then.  I know that you’re meant to wait a year before you start hacking away, but this cake is FAR too precious for that frightening, flavorless fate.

So tonight, we took home the bottom half (we’ll retrieve the top half when we polish that off) and I proceeded to slice myself off a hunk of The Best Treat Ever.

Stress management?  Absolutely.

Shiraz and Vanilla Buttercream are the new pairing.

Predictability: I only ate the frosting.  I’m going to assume that when there’s a layer of vanilla buttercream frosting spread 1/2″ thick, that means that it no longer has calories.

What is your favorite cake/frosting combination?

Have you ever had an appliance go down?  Did you have to repair it?  Replace it?

p.s. If you’re a shoe fiend like I am, scamper on over to Mads’ blog and enter her giveaway for a $25 Zappos gift card!  You don’t need to be a blogger to enter and Lord knows that at this point in the summer, we could all use a little extra cash to buy something that says “I don’t plan on being functional today.”

Those People

What needs to be addressed…

Uno: I saw the Extreme Bow Hunting-guy on the freeway last Friday when I was driving to work.

To jog your memory…

Before you ask, yes, I’m positive that it was the same guy.

First and foremost, I refuse to believe that there are any other people rampaging around the Minneapolis/St. Paul metro area with a truck that has been tricked out like that.  Secondly (and more logically), the truck I was cruising with had firefighter plates and unless this is some sort of bizarre-o underground fire department thing that I’m just not privy to, IT HAD TO BE HIM.

Dos: When we were out for Jody’s birthday on Saturday night, our waitress felt the need to publicize her son’s business by festively distributing his business card along with the check.

Yes, that was weird.

But the card itself was weirder, and basically cancelled out any of the initial weirdness.

These things happen sometimes.

I’m not sure what made her decide that we were the kind of people who obviously had a gaping hole in our lives that could only be filled by this…

…but apparently, we just are.

Starring: Cletus…The Mechanical Bull.

Seriously?

I die.

Have you ever had a server who has given you something that’s just a little bit off with the check?

Do you ever commute with the same drivers?

Last year, I spent some quality time on the drive home with Extremist Bumper Sticker Man.  This spring?  I’ve found that if I leave the house ~5 minutes late, Maserati Man and I end up driving the entirety of our commute (within a block) together.