Today, Critter is two months old.
What On Earth.
In so many ways, things have gotten easier, and at the same time I thought we would have our shit together by now and we totally don’t. I’ve tried to be really honest on The Blog about what the first two months of motherhood have been like. It has been the experiment of a lifetime.
Katie and I were having another playdate on Thursday with Critter and Baby G (Critter ate and shared his bouncer with Baby G. Baby G slept. Very Intense.) and we talked about how the last eight weeks haven’t just been about learning how to take care of our babies, they have been about trying to figure out how to become parents.
In short, we have been breaking ourselves in, like a new baseball mitt or any other number of investment-grade leather goods that you would like to draw such a comparison to. It has been a process.
On Thursday, I stepped back from this 50-odd day ordeal of inspecting each tree in the forest one-by-one and the enormity of what we have all been through over the past eight weeks hit me. My car got a flat tire, my car battery died, Marcus’ car got rear ended, his car’s transmission tried to darken death’s door but was saved by a second opinion, we learned we need to purchase a new furnace in the next few weeks because it actually is crapping out on us (it is 30+ years old), I got an ocular migraine and was subsequently sent to the ER, got mastitis, and I had two moles removed and biopsied.
Oh, and Billy moved to Dallas for a new job and my parents bought a house and are moving back to Plymouth on the 16th of April.
Did I mention that I birthed a baby during that time and we have been raising him through all of this?
Our lives are a full-on circus!
But let me tell you this.
For the first 18 years of my life, no lie, my grandparents one after another fought ultimately terminal illnesses and were in hospice for periods of time ranging from days to months. My parents were primary caregivers so my brother and I spent a lot of time in hospitals and nursing homes and the like. The summer/fall of my freshman year of high school I attended eight funerals in five months. I literally had a long black velvet dress with cap sleeves for the occasion.
I am pretty sure I stopped wearing velvet after that.
All of this is to say that if no one is in hospice or dying, I generally find that things are going Great with a capital “G.” That life is a walk in the park! It could always be worse, and it could certainly always be harder because truly we have already survived The Most Awful Things.
We have been so blessed with a healthy, happy Critter. His smiles light up the room, his shrieks of disdain bring down the house. His tiny frowns are soul-destroying (also how does he even know how to frown since he can’t see anything yet?!). His pride in being able to lift his legs up and down at the same time palpable. Our village is large. Their love for him (and us) is heart-filling. Every single day is a joyful, exhausting, and mind-numbing spin cycle. I now know that next month, we won’t have it “together” but things will continue to get easier and different-hard at the same time and all of it will be just fine.