Daily Archives: 02.02.2016

Dispatch From The Other Side

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Greetings, fellow time-travelers!

Okay, not really time-travelers, but I basically feel like I have been time-traveling since last Thursday.  Mysteriously, it is already Tuesday (and February) and I started writing this post this morning, but now it is nearly Wednesday and I feel that at this point it is best not to even try to figure out where the time went because I Do Not Know.  I mean, I do, but I don’t.  I may or may not write out some sort of birth story at some point, but in the interim, a brief synopsis of events that have transpired:

  • Last week, I had OB appointments on Wednesday afternoon and Thursday morning.  Mom and I went to Bacio for lunch on Thursday and realistically, that was the start of early labor.  By 6:30 PM we had to go to the hospital because I was having contractions every four minutes and by 10:00 PM we were fully admitted.  I was all super-thankful that I didn’t have to be induced (still am), and then Critter and my body colluded to release him into the wild at 12:04 AM on Saturday morning.  For those of you keeping score at home, that is 36 hours of labor in total.  I would like to know who these people who have babies in like…four hours are.  Also wouldn’t really recommend 36 hours of labor but sometimes you just gotta do you.
  • We came home on Sunday.  Apparently we could stay at the hospital on Sunday too, but I had to ask the obvious, which is that if he is healthy and I am healthy, why would we not be at home instead?  So we are at home.  It is so nice to be here.
  • CRITTER IS A BOY.  Honestly, I truly felt for the entire pregnancy that he was a boy, and the random people who were truly making oracle-like predictions all went boy as well.  Lindsey also conducted the ring test in September (I told her that she could NOT tell me the result) and this also correctly predicted a boy.  So, no surprises there at all.
  • Critter is perfect.  We all know I have literally no experience with children and you guys he is just the best.  The hair on his head, his little ears, the feet we never get to see because they are hidden in footie pajamas, all so great.  I legit cried when we put him in his first outfit to go home, I was so proud.  He wore his own clothes!  He looked smart!  It was beautiful!
  • Critter is humbling.  At about 5:00 AM on his birthday, Marcus and I both realized that we had a child, and that we had literally no idea as to how to pick him up, trade him off, or do any of the other “parent” things that you are supposed to know how to do.  Thankfully it seems to be a pretty easy learning curve but in that moment, we were both amazed and terrified.
  • Currently I am really feeling quite well.  Pregnancy insomnia has turned out to be a blessing in disguise because as we all know, I spent a decent amount of time over the last nine months running on like four hours of sleep.  I am also making good on my self-goal to shower each day because even though I have like four different kinds of really nice dry shampoo, I really only think it is good for giving my already clean hair a bit of volume.
    • I will also note that during our home nurse visit today, when I reported just how truly happy with my life that I was, she informed me that today or tomorrow, most people have a meltdown.  I am filing this information along with the gem of wisdom I was once told about me not needing to worry because Critter wouldn’t actually love me right when it was born because it wouldn’t know how yet.  LEAVE ME AND MY JOY ALONE, OKAY?
  • In following Jewish tradition, we will not be publicly announcing his name until the bris.  Meanwhile, on the internet, he will be Critter (or some other pseudonym) forever because I really want him to be able to create his own digital footprint.

Meanwhile, in the outside world (AKA) outside of the four walls of our home, we are apparently having some sort of massive blizzard.  It’s sort of like living inside of a snow globe in a way.