Reverb 15 | January | Ungoals

#reverb15 is the opportunity for us to reflect and project throughout 2015.   Each month, Meredith, Sarah and I will be posting on a new prompt.  Join us by writing, or join us by reading. No matter what you choose, come with us.

Ungoals: What are so NOT doing this year? What’s on your “I just can’t care about that” list?

I know that this is January’s prompt, and that here I am writing on it in March, but this may actually be the most perfect and true embodiment of Ungoals.

I spent 2014 letting go of everything.  You can read about it here.  If you don’t want to click through (can’t blame you), a brief summary is that I cut out the following: schedule stresses, trying to fit everyone/everything in, dead-end relationships, pretending that I feel bad that I don’t wear actual jeans, what I eat.

It was a really radical change and it was a really freeing change.  Was it freeing for Marcus?  It’s hard to know if he really noticed. 🙂

The thing that probably changed the most as I continued to pile things onto the I just can’t care about that-list were my relationships.  When you change your values system and you stop prioritizing the things that the people around you do, it gets weird.  I absolutely do not believe that we all need to value the same things.  However, when you make it clear that you no longer place importance on the things that others place The Most Importance on, there is some uncomfortable dissonance there.  A lot of relationships hinge on agreement as a basis for existence and when you stop agreeing, you have in effect ruined the social compact.

Anyway.  2015 has been great.  We have been doing first and worrying second (or never).  Apart from our Italy trip, I have been a terrible Instagrammer.  I’ve read a lot of books.  We’ve thrown parties at inconvenient times.  I’ve seen friends.  We’ve  gone on dates.  There have been cocktails, and I’ve done more baking in the past few months than I have done in a long time.  Baking is an odd barometer in my life.  The more relaxed I am, the more likely I am to whip up a batch of cookies or a pan of bars.  That being said, a pan of Cadbury Mini-Egg Blondies just came out of the oven.


My ungoals are working out just fine.

5 responses to “Reverb 15 | January | Ungoals

  1. Those blondies look delicious and I LOVE Cadbury eggs.

  2. Whoa. I love the take on relationships. Sometimes we hang on too long and don’t really know why.

  3. I totally agree about friendships. It’s okay to let go. You have to honor yourself and your priorities. Funny, I was just discussing this with my life coach today. It rocks that you recognize this.

  4. “When you change your values system and you stop prioritizing the things that the people around you do, it gets weird.” AMEN. That whole paragraph was amazing. So very, very true. xo

  5. Pingback: Opting Out of Social Obligations and Into Authenticity | Mostly Fit Mom

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