Reverb 14 | Prompt 3 | Coulda, woulda, shoulda

#reverb14 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December that is meant to give us all the chance to reflect on 2014 and the opportunity to write down our hopes and dreams for the coming year. Through December 31st Meredith,Sarah and I will be posting each day with a new prompt. Join us by writing, or join us by reading. No matter what you choose, come with us.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda: What didn’t you do this year because you were too scared, afraid, unsure?  Are you going to do it next year?  Or maybe you don’t want to anymore?

I have no regrets this year about things left undone.  There were things I wanted to do.  There were things I had to do.  There were things I was not thrilled about doing that I did anyway.  But there were no things I outright did not do.

If I really had to dig deep and pick one idiotic thing I could have done differently, it would be the many hours of World Cup and Tour de France I watched instead of sitting outside and enjoying the beautiful weather.  Of the four months this year where there was no snow, there were perfect summer evenings where I stayed inside. I was just at a point where I was wholly and thoroughly exhausted by my life. I was tired of studying for my SPHR exam. I was tired of crying about Spot. I was tired of things not going as planned. I was tired of feeling tired! So this was the very physical manifestation of my desire to hide from the world.

I justified it to myself by watching TV in our bedroom with the window open, instead of in our cave of a basement, but at the end of the of the day the end result was the same. I was not outside.

It’s such a silly thing to look back on, but knowing how much we miss those summer days when winter comes, I just wish I had done them better.

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