From the department of things that are really adult, I’m in the process of getting additional life insurance.
As a part of the process, I had to participate in a medical exam. So this afternoon, Home Medical Professional Kyle paid a visit to our house.
We kicked off our time together with Kyle producing a battered scale from his magic satchel of tricks (seriously he brought an old-school physician bag) and taking my weight. I told him not to tell me what my weight is because, well, I don’t really need to know. My relationship with the scale isn’t a healthy one and the past two years without it have been great.
Kyle: Are you sure you don’t want to know your weight?
Kyle: But it is a really good weight.
Me: I just don’t think it will be useful information.
Kyle: I think you will be surprised! You weigh less than you think!
Me: I think I know how much I weigh.
Kyle: I can tell you what you weigh.
Finally, I consented because I realized that whether or not I wanted to know, Kyle was going to tell me my weight. To his credit, Kyle was not wrong. I weighed three pounds less than I thought I did. With clothes on! Considering I have spent my last three weeks feasting my way through the Jewish holidays, this was quite the surprise.
We also ran through a questionnaire which was completely boring. But from there we shifted into the (thrilling) blood pressure portion of the visit. After two readings, Kyle praised me for a period of time that I would describe as being uncomfortable in length.
Kyle: You have the best pressure.
Kyle: Yes. It is the best. I have seen so many.
Me: Well, that’s great to hear.
Kyle: Such good pressure!
This naturally evolved into Kyle taking my pulse.
Kyle: Your pulse is so good!
Kyle: And very steady too!
For our grand finale, Kyle lectured me on the health benefits of racquet ball, a sport which he plays regularly. I can say with 100% certainty that this will not be a sport that I play ever.
While I highly doubt that I will ever be able to muster the amount of enthusiasm that Kyle was able to display for my state of health, who knew that I had so much to be proud of on a Wednesday?