The State of the Union is tonight, party-kittens. It should come as no surprise I had to dig through the Costume Box yesterday to get my ensemble in order and I immediately laid out my outfit.
I am actually having dinner with a girlfriend tonight – when I realized it was double-booked over the State of the Union, I asked her if we could push our date just a bit earlier so that I could get home in time to watch. Her response: that would be great, because I want to watch it too. (!)
You might need something to guide your viewing, in which case I am happy to provide a festive game. I’ll probably be pressing the Camo Koozie into service, but you know it is just as effective with Root Beer floats. I’ve kept most of the rules from last year with a few edits.
Take a drink when…
- Any time the commentator refers to the event as The Prom (or tries to reincarnate any other high school dance) and our congressmen as dates.
- We have to reach across the aisle. Take another drink if: the President actually gets a full standing ovation.
- For each member of congress who is not wearing a tie that matches their party affiliation.
- You make the same face as Joe Biden. Take another drink if: well, you’ll know if you’re supposed to take another drink.
- You make the same face as John Boehner.
- Whenever we ponder economic recovery. Take another drink if: we name someone who is part of the long-term unemployed and we tell their story.
- We talk about the bright future of American jobs.
- Every time the camera pans to a named member of the audience.
- We talk about taxes and the middle class. Take another drink: each time you ponder whether you’ll be paying in this year or getting paid.
- You get confused about what the marginal (or any other) tax rate really means.
- Each time we quote someone else in the body of the speech.
- If you see an election night-style hologram.
- Slam your drink if: any congressmen try to do that scary grab to President Obama that Michele Bachmann did to W. An illustration: It was weird. And yes, she’s ours. No, I can’t talk about it.
Cheers to America! Have fun. Stay