We Are Surrounded By Noise.
I want to say that it was the fall Harvest Party where I found myself in a conversation with my Auntie Kim about introverts and extroverts. Which family members fell into which camp, where we felt we stood.
At the most basic level, I am an extrovert. I enjoy talking to strangers. I am energized when I spend time with the people who I love. Filling my planner with appointments and dates is cathartic to me.
In December, I got outright trampled by my schedule. The best-worst part is that I saw it coming even before the first of the month rolled around. By the middle of the month, I was bargaining with my body, begging it to stave off sickness until Christmas, because I’d have just that much extra time to sleep it off and recover.
I am not the best version of myself when I am exhausted. I am not the best version of myself when I am stretched thin.
So for the month of January, I’ve committed one day/weekend to myself. I have completely cleared my own schedule. So I don’t have to leave the house if I don’t want to. So the only person I plan to see is my husband. So I can go on a marathon BRAVO-jag or I can sit down on the couch and read a book.
I know y’all are thinking Duh, Kat. That is the whole point of weekends.
But if I don’t intentionally set aside that time for rest, it gets committed to other people and other things.
I graduated from college nearly five years ago. And from that point forward, rest is not something that I ever made a priority. Rather, I’ve positioned it as an antidote and action of last resort. Just like the half-gallon of orange juice I down when I feel a massive cold coming on and the active release massage I perform on my calf when I feel the need to ward of tendinitis.
It doesn’t have to be like that. It’s not supposed to be like that.
I isn’t rest that I need to learn how to be comfortable with. It’s knowing that not every minute needs to have a purpose. That the unintentional time is what will make me better and stronger in the intentional minutes.