I remember, as we landed in Israel, asking God for a beach vacation.  I looked at our ruthless schedule for the 11 days to follow and th0ught, There Is No Rest In This.  After a whirlwind year (or hell, a whirlwind six weeks since my last adventure), I have wanted nothing more than to Sit and Shut Off.  First world problems, I know.

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I am sitting, typing on the lanai.  With a bottle of seltzer perched on the table next to me.  Apple weather informs me that it is wintery-mixing in Minnesota, and right here we are currently living summer without end.

As of today, I can officially cross Florida Beach Vacation off of my life list.  I am still not entirely sure how I have made it to the age of 26 without taking The Most American Of All The Vacations.  We’ll save that question for my parents, I suppose.

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How did I finally end up here?  Just as All Of The Menfolk in Marcus’ family go fishing each year, it was really time for the women to have a girls’ weekend.  You know – kick back, have a few cocktails, and subsist on an un-schedule.

So we de-camped to Auntie Cindy’s Naples condo.

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How convenient, I know.

Fresh off of her own romp in the keys, Martha counseled me as such, “Let your brain shut off and give into the humidity and sugary alcoholic drinks.  Just don’t touch the spiders.”

As an aside about the arachnids…Seriously, there are spiders with red horns EVERYWHERE that weave three-foot wide webs.  The first one was mildly disturbing, the parade of webs that followed were outright alarming.  It is all very Jurassic Park.  Google informs me that the Spiny Orb Spinner’s bite is generally harmless to humans, but that is not the most reassuring news when you have almost walked into one of their webs.

Anyway, webs aside, this is what shutting off looks like.

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Other things that fit into the concept of shutting off: The Base Of The Vacation Food Pyramid.

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If I had to live off of Piña Coladas and Coconut Shrimp for the rest of my life, I would happily do so.

We’ve spent the last two days on the beach at Clam Pass (no, I don’t actually know where or what that is) which means that I have spent the last two days in the water.

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And when I say in the water, I do not mean, In the water for a little bit and then we break it up by tanning.  Or, Staring at the water and thinking about what it might be like to get in.

For the girl who is allergic to chlorine, this means uninterrupted hours of floating and wave jumping and kicking and paddling.  It has been So Glorious.  My sunburned chest and shoulders may not agree with you, and I am completely exhausted, but My God.  Water is my happiest place.

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What else was the happiest: watching flocks of rays surf through the waves, and the dolphin that surfaced 10 feet away from me as I was floating.

Not bad, God.  Not bad.

In a few hours, we’ll head off to the airport to begin our trek back North.  I have yet to pack and am probably a little bit in denial about the fact that I am going to be swapping palm trees for trees without leaves.  But.  (Always, but.)  It is time to return to Home and to A Routine and to The People I Love.

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One response to “Naples.

  1. Holy! This looks AMAZING! Just got back from Florida a week and a half ago. Went to The Happiest Place on Earth, with an unexpected detour to the Canadian Consulate in Miami after I lost our passports…long story. Your pics make me want to hit the beach again. We’re officially in minus temps these days (below 0 Celcius, that is). Hate winter 😦

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