patriot vest State of The Union.
Y’all know I could never resist one last chance to drag out the denim incarnation of Old Glory. And you know, my deep love for good old fashioned American politics.
But we all know that friends don’t let friends actively participate in democracy without a little bit of something happening on the side.
So, let’s go.
First order of business: This game looks like an LOL. Read it and have a laugh.
For the main event:
Take a drink when…
- Any time the commentator refers to the event as The Prom (or tries to reincarnate any other high school dance) and our congressmen as dates.
- We have to reach across the aisle. Take another drink if: the President actually gets a full standing ovation.
- For each member of congress who is not wearing a tie that matches their party affiliation.
- You make the same face as Joe Biden. Take another drink if: well, you’ll know if you’re supposed to take another drink.
- You make the same face as John Boehner.
- We excitedly discuss Marco Rubio’s post-speech-speech.
- Whenever we ponder economic recovery. Take another drink if: we name someone who is unemployed and we tell their story.
- We talk about the bright future of American jobs.
- Every time the camera pans to a named member of the audience.
- We talk about taxes and the middle class. Take another drink: each time you ponder whether you’ll be paying in this year or getting paid.
- You get confused about what the marginal tax rate really means.
- As the President tells us all about immigration reform. Take another drink if: anyone on TV or in your party brings up that ridiculous fence.
- Each time we quote someone else in the body of the speech.
- The hard work of gun control is brought up. Take another drink if: we invoke the fact that Americans already largely agree that there should be universal background checks.
- Slam your drink if: any congressmen try to do that scary grab to President Obama that Michele Bachmann did to W. An illustration: It was weird. And yes, she’s ours. No, I can’t talk about it.