Reverb 12 | Prompt 21 | Look

#reverb12 is a prompt-a-day series for the month of December that is meant to give us all the chance to reflect on 2012 and the opportunity to write down our hopes and dreams for the coming year. Through December 31st Meredith, Sarah and I will be posting each day with a new prompt. Join us by writing, or join us by reading. No matter what you choose, come with us.

Look: Sometimes you are left standing on the outside looking in.  As you stood there, on the other side of the glass, were you thankful for the boundary?  Or do you wish you could’ve been on the action-side?

I wrote this year about how I have been passive in my decision making.  And how I said yes to people when the introvert buried inside of me was screaming.

But for some reason today, more than the other days, Reverb feels like a confessional.  It feels a little raw in spots.

Maybe because the act of standing on the outside looking in is not a comfortable place for me.

In fact, of the many things I do poorly, standing on the outside looking in is probably at the very top of the list.

I do not like being excluded, I make a very conscious effort not to exclude myself.

Because even on the days where I crave the quiet, quiet is more comfortable when you’re surrounded by the sounds that you know.

Much in the same way that small children are soothed by having all of their stuffed animals tucked in around them in bed.

We are soothed by the familiar.

The way I see it, just like you get to decide how big your own tent is, you are the person who has to pick yourself first for the kickball team.

Sometimes people aren’t just going to take you along for the ride and sometimes they will not know that they’re meant to.

So yes, you do have to pick yourself first.  To bring yourself with.  And sometimes that act takes courage even as it simultaneously makes you feel so small.

How can possibly be so hard to say Me too?

I don’t know.

And all of this matters why?

Because for every situation that you’ve picked yourself first, there’s another one where someone else has said, take that one too.

So the next time you get the chance, be the person who brings just one more person with.

It’s easier to shatter the glass from the inside.  To break out rather than to break in.

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2 responses to “Reverb 12 | Prompt 21 | Look

  1. LOVE every bit of this post.

  2. This is very well said, and profound, as usual. Love you Kat,

    Shauna xoxoxo

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