Yesterday, I was informed that the Superbowl isn’t this weekend, it’s next weekend.
S0 here I was, fretting about what to bring for The Big Game. A dip? Something that involves the oven? A new recipe? A tried + true favorite? And really, it was all in vain.
Yes, another week gives me the chance to kick back and relax. But we all know that what it really means is that I’ll spend the next seven days planning it all over again.
Since I no longer had to decide whether or not I would read Vogue in my free time or bring it with to the party (which might have been inappropriate, but it seemed like a totally logical solution to me), I’ve been taking care of business.
And in that process, I’ve been gently reminded that some things you can’t just un-see. Like the Arch-Rivals spread in the January 2011 issue of Vogue.
Y’all know there are just some trends I can’t get on-board with. Like those Plaid/Lumberjack shirts that people insisted on running around in last winter.
For the record, if you were one of those people, I still respect you. Y’all know it’s just not how I roll. For better or worse, I’m a Patent Leather-Pearls-Cardigan-Polo-Ballet Flats-Neon Print-type of girl. I’ve never known any other way.
But platform shoes? When we slammed the door on those in 1999, I NEVER looked back.
We should have seen it coming. We brought back clogs last winter (1997, We Missed You!). And some people would have us believing that cargo pockets are an acceptable sartorial choice.
Denial? Ain’t just a river in Egypt.
In case you need some refreshing as to why Platform Shoes are the Devil’s playthings, let me bring you back to the 6th grade at West Middle School. I had not one, but two SUPER-CUTE pairs of shoes that fell into the “Platform” category.
Public Enemy #1: A pair of slate blue Sketchers sneakers with a three-inch platform. They were not fashion. They were not function. They were purely WTF?
Public Enemy #2: More subtle than the first, these were a pair of black foam sandals from Target’s Xhilaration line. Only two inches off of the ground, these bad boys had a woven faux-bamboo sole and an electric blue butterfly-flower arrangement embroidered on the outside of each sandal strap.
When I wore those things, I thought that I was All That.
Like I said before, I NEVER LOOKED BACK.
Kittens, I thought we were Home Free after we miraculously bypassed the Parachute Pants phase. But I die a little bit inside when I suspect that the next thing to return to the scene could be the white peasant skirt.
But our future has already been written.
What’s one trend you just CANNOT get on-board with? What’s one trend you don’t even want to admit you embraced?