Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts

Our neighbor has decided to decorate for Halloween.

But instead of channeling Martha Stewart, he purchases frightening things from the party store and then dangles them off of the front stoop.

No bueno.

My Mother is in the process of renovating (right now it’s the carpet upstairs at The House On The Hill) and is purging like mad.

Hello, unassuming.

Lesson: Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts.

Enclosed were: the newspaper from the day I was born, the program from U of M commencement (for the ceremony I did end up attending…I skipped the other one) and a multitude of construction paper collages from 1990 that my Dad described as being “modern-ish.”  Personally, I would go with Visionary.

But if there ever was a tip of the iceberg, that would be it.

Someday when I have time and a scanner, I’ll do a gallery show of some of my finest work.  Until then, please strive to mentally prepare yourselves.

And appreciate the fact that tonight, she didn’t stop with just that envelope.

Obviously my scrapbooking skills haven’t developed any further in the last 10 years.

I know, I know.  What you’re all thinking now is “Wow Kat, I can totally see where your creative point of view came from.”

Obviously.

The neon borders, the scalloped edges, the overall composition…It’s a showcase of the True Talent I’ve been concealing within.

When Billy and I were pups, Mom’s effort to keep us sharp as tacks on vacation (and her attempt at pseudo-homeschooling) involved us engaging in the task of really intensive journaling of each day’s events.

As a result, I can now tell you that according to a receipt we saved, on January 25, 2000 at 6:37 PM EST, we ordered via room service: two iced teas, two crudite plates, a glass of apple juice, one BLT, two roast beef and brie sandwiches on baguette, and a shrimp salad roll to cabin 6171.

I was the original foodie.

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9 responses to “Beware of Greeks Bearing Gifts

  1. From my one experience with your neighbor, I am *so* not surprised. I’m glad I drove on his lawn.

    -Katie*

  2. Australia is LAME when it comes to posting nutritional value. well, the grocery stores aren’t ALL bad, but when i first moved here, i discovered instead of calories, everything is posted in KILOJULES, which is like Latin to anyone from North America. i had absolutely no clue what the calorie count was on anything for the first month i lived here and literally gained 5lbs while lost in translation. (or maybe it was because i had no money and lived off pasta. whatever. :p)

  3. On the Halloween decorations: Uh…yuck!

    I have no reason to ever, ever, ever know the nutritional value of molten chocolate cakes. I figure, it’s got eggs, eggs= protein, protein =good for you, ergo, molten chocolate cakes=good for you.

  4. 1. I sincerely hope you’re planning on doing a scrapbook for our upcoming cruise.
    2. I’m pretty sure Mike and I drove on that guy’s lawn too. Revenge!

  5. Carnival Destiny.

    Jesus Christ.

  6. I am so WITH YOU on the candy corn. Its so addicting. My daddy has a huge jar of it at his house, and whenever I am there I find myself walking around all day with the candy in my pocket. I am not even sure how it gets there, but every time I reach into my pocket, there it is!! And I must say, I do enjoy finding it 🙂
    I also have a huge issue with eggnog. I could drink an entire carton by myself within a few hours. Kinda gross, I know

  7. I LOVE Candy Corn. My office has a big bowl full of them and they keep refilling. It is SO dangerous!!! I am glad Halloween only comes once a year…hahaha!!

  8. If you saw my scrapbooking skills you’d die from laughter so kudos to you!!

    I love potatoes and have no idea how many calories they have. Sometimes I eat 2! I’m super crazy and adventurous like that.

    You can stop laughing at me now.

  9. I have read every single one of your blog posts. I don’t know why, but this one really speaks to me. It’s one of my all-time favorites.

    Thought you should know your everyday ramblings are greatly appreciated.

    Love,
    Mads

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