Today, I heard news that will leave a little hole in all of our hearts. American Girl is discontinuing Kristen. Upon hearing the news, the following e-mail conversation ensued between me and my girlfriends. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Merlot: American Girl Kirsten to be Discontinued Mourning starts now.
Cab Sauv: no joke, this is why i bought her birthday party dress and her winter sweater set last time i was at the mall of america store in august. i had a breakdown. a bunch of 8 year olds gave me a look and went back to playing with their stupid new dolls. i still need to buy a few more things too.
White Zin: kirsten and i shared the same birthday, we were both blonde and scandinavian, and we both lived in MN. she was my doll soulmate. but i liked felicity’s clothing better, so i always asked for those outfits. i just got a holiday party idea from kirsten’s wardrobe: you know we’ll have to have a santa lucia ceremony at the holiday party. anyone else know the song? i only know the chorus.
Cab Sauv: i am more than willing to learn…i’d even dress up for it. i know i’ve sang the chorus with you while drunk before. there’s a facebook picture to prove it.
Merlot: I’m down with adding another celebration to our partay. I am also willing to learn the song. Crap…does that mean we need one of those bread things? I remember reading about it in her book and seeing the shriveled up turd that American Girl sold for like $20 that was supposed to “be” the bread.
something about jewels, american girl dolls, and a song?
i loved molly…does that make me a pauper?
fuck you guys