Category Archives: Politics

Kittens, I knew I had to post last night because it was what was on my heart.

When I pressed Publish I decided that either everyone was going to be totally on-board or I was going to lose all of my readers.

But I have been so overwhelmed by your response.  You’ve been tweeting, posting, and sharing it on Facebook.

What I learned is that We Are Not Alone.

Also, Did you know that I didn’t know how sharing on The New Facebook worked until last night?

Because I didn’t.

A 24-year-old should not be this terrifically new at Using The Internet all over again.

I also realized that yesterday I didn’t even think to address women who take birth control for medical reasons not related to family planning.  That might sound ignorant, but it didn’t even cross my mind.

So there’s that.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Anyway, thank you for Paying It Forward.  And to those of you who shared your stories in the comments.  Lindsay and The Novice Wife have taken this show on the road.  So be sure to check their posts out.

This is important work.

Some of you have chosen to stay silent.  Which is absolutely okay.  I understand that this is a very personal sort of story to share and that for some it would be uncomfortable to do so.  I get it.

I DO care (and very much want) you to share this story with the women in your life who are important.  I want you to Pay It Forward.

Because while this is about us sharing our stories, it’s really about using them to start a conversation.

This afternoon one girlfriend asked me why I needed to talk about contraception on The Blog, since I try to avoid political topics at all costs.

It’s very simple, really.  I was furious.  And I realized that I happen to have a tiny soapbox where people listen from time to time.

And then I realized that this conversation isn’t just about women who cannot afford to have another child or women who are promiscuous or pregnant teenagers.

It’s about really ordinary women who would stand to lose a great deal.  And really ordinary women tend to be the quietest about these issues because by and large, we don’t have a good enough reason to join the conversation.  We become isolated from what’s really happening because it doesn’t feel like it’s happening to us.

We’re not activists.

I’d rather be in the kitchen than burning a bra.

The most important men in our lives do not call women by those names.

At the end of the day, what’s happening to one woman speaking out reflects a frightening reality for all of us.

I don’t even know where it came from, but suddenly I had the overwhelming urge to just own it already and to drag as many other people along with me as I could.  To get them to start talking about this with their friends and family.

So I did.  Because I realized that the only person who was going to stand up for me was, well, me.

For those of you who are wondering when all of this political-ish lady-talk ends, the answer is soon.  This is all very through the looking glass to me too.  You’ll find great solace in knowing that my Julep Box came in the mail today and my mitts need to be addressed.  Shimmering gold polish is on the horizon.

I am a slut and a prostitute.

Or that’s what Rush Limbaugh would have you believe.  Because when he labels one female Georgetown Law student that way for using birth control, he’s not just using those words towards her.  He is using those words towards all of us.

I am terrified of living in a country where using that sort of language directed at women who choose to family plan is labeled as “inappropriate” and “absurd.”

What it really is: abhorrent, obscene, repugnant, dangerous.

So it’s time.  For us as women to take control of this dialogue and tell our stories.

Because as a dear friend told me, Silence Hurts All Women.

Because I have nothing to hide and I think that we need to very publicly start discussing what the ability to use birth control (or not use birth control if that’s what strikes our fancy) means for us as women.

Because at the end of the day, this discussion is about us and what we choose to put or not put in our bodies.  It is not about one man telling us to put aspirin between our knees.

It’s about us.

It’s about the ordinary women who go to work.  Who stay home with their families.  Who are married.  Who are divorced.  Who are young.  Who are old.  It’s about our mothers, sisters, friends and yes, even that girl that you hated throughout the entirety of high school.

It’s about all of us.

So I’ll go first.

I have been taking birth control pills since the age of 16.  Which means that in the past eight years, I have taken approximately 2,922 pills.

That’s actually a pretty big number when you think about it.  It’s hard for me to think of putting 2,922 of anything into my body.  So there’s some context for you, I guess.

I have only had sex with one person.  I was going to say “slept” with.  But it’s really not about sleeping with anyone.  I’ve physically slept in the same room and/or bed as a number of people in a non-sexual way.  So for the sake of this, we’re not going to call it that.

We choose to family plan because right now, we are in the truest sense of the word Not Ready.  Do I think that I could be a wonderful, doting mother?  Absolutely.  Do I think that my husband will be a caring, adoring father?  I always have.

But that’s not even on our radar.

I have taken the Morning After Pill.  Because the condom broke and I had missed a few pills that month.

In terms of Life Events, it ranks amongst the most boring and anticlimactic.  This might appall some of you, but really.  It was.

As a society, we have determined that it is easier for a woman to bear the majority of the responsibility for preventing unplanned pregnancies.  It’s less work, less hassle, and less permanent than giving every man a vasectomy.  Or more simply, expecting people to have the self-control to Keep It In Their Pants.

I am fine with that.

I am happy to set an alarm on my phone that reminds me to take a pill that not only benefits me but my husband as well.  I’m fine with some women deciding that they would rather not use birth control.

Because that’s what’s so exciting about all of this.

What I choose to do with my body, has nothing to do with what someone else chooses to do with theirs.  There is no direct relationship.  I’m just as excited for the sister that has an IUD as I am for Michelle Duggar.  Because we get to choose.

What I’m not fine with is forcing women to bear the burden of responsibility for a couple’s choice to use (or not use) contraception and then demonizing us for it.

This situation and dialogue are absolutely ridiculous and as much as I’ve been hoping that it would just disappear, it absolutely is not.

And so that’s why I write today.

Because birth control is something that I choose to use.  It has been a routine part of my daily activity for the past eight years.

Because I am one ordinary woman who lives in the suburbs who is not ready to start a family.

If you want to respond to this in the comments, go wild.  But what I’d really like you to do is consider this an open invitation.  To break the silence on your blog and show your face as an ordinary woman who uses birth control.  Pay it forward and invite your readers and blog friends to write as well.  And if you do (decide to write, that is), please leave me a comment with the link to your post. 

Consider this outfit a dry run for Valentine's Day in the Workplace. Separately, this is one of my latest JCrew Final Sale buys. It was only $9!

Friends, thank you for helping me last week to resolve the issue of what the actual date of Election Day was.  I rolled out of bed this morning a couple of minutes earlier than usual, and headed over to my polling place to vote-it-out before work.

Unless you’re reading from Alaska or Hawaii, by the time you read this, Decision 2010 will already have been made.  So there’s really no point in me telling y’all about how important it is to get out there and vote.  But I hope you did, if for no other reason than the fact that we live in a nation where we can participate in self-governance without fear.

If you’re someday needing a more superficial reason, remember that most of you probably haven’t gotten stickers for completing multiple choice tests since Middle School.

Tonight has also provided me with the opportunity to participate in a favorite pastime – watching cable television election coverage a la CNN and FOX.  There’s just something about the punditry, the larger than life-sized maps of America and obscure analysis of issues that we try not to care about the other 364 days of the year.  It just gets me every time.

On a non-political note, last night we had Stuffed Mushrooms for dinner that were beyond heavenly.  Definitely check this one out – it’s easy to make and worth the extremely mild amount of culinary effort needed.

“I Voted” stickers: Fashion Yes or Fashion No?  Do you live in a state where you rock something other than the red circle with white text?

Election Night Coverage: Love it or hate it?

In presidential election years, my friends are given towards having parties with treats, personal electoral maps, red v. blue jello shots and the like.  At the end of the night, win or lose, everyone is in a good place.

In an incredible example of putting your money where your mouth is, Arianna Huffington sent 200 busses down.  Steven Colbert told Cat Stevens turned Yusuf Islam that he was not getting on the Peace Train.

Linds hit The Rally to Restore Sanity yesterday, and as per my request, sent me some of the better photos she snapped.

Jon Stewart's crowd estimate: 6 billion.

Real life attendance estimate: ~200,000 people.

Activism.

In the pursuit of Truthiness.

Idealism.

The Establishment.

To get a better view, rally-goers literally hung from the street lights.

Took to the trees.

And de-camped to the roofs of the porta potties.

God Bless America.

I do care about whether or not you understand the powerful impact for good that health care reform will have on this country. 

But that is not for tonight.  Each thing in its own time.

I am more concerned about whether or not you are as disturbed as I am by the overt racism and bigotry our nation witnessed on Sunday.

Specifically the Tea Party protesters outside of the Capitol building calling African-American Congressmen “niggers” and other Congressmen “faggots.”  And yes, I used those words instead of tame euphemisms like the ”n-word” because at this point it’s inappropriate to pretend that this behavior is any less repugnant than it actually is.

I am disturbed that we live in a country where Newt Gingrich would compare this bill to the Civil Rights Act as the undoing of the Democratic party.  That people would view the Civil Rights Act as something that destroys rather than something that builds up that which is honorable, right and good.

And most importantly, I want to know at what point do we as Americans say enough and stop enabling this?

Note: I did add quotes around words that are not my own as one commenter suggested.

Politics isn’t usually something that I discuss in polite conversation. But truly, I am so tired of turning on the television set every morning and hearing that first President Obama and the Liberals are Socialists and then next they’re Fascists and this, that and the other thing. Even though all of this is word-vomited up so quickly that one barely has any time to process what has just happened to them. It is likely not entirely different from being hit by an out-of-control freight train.

And thus this morning, I was struck with a moment of brilliance. Let us abolish Medicare so that there are not public health plans at all. And in their stead, let all Americans self-diagnose with WebMD. It offers the benefit of being a pre-established system, so it would not need to be built, and many Americans are already comfortable using the tool. If one finds the need to get a second opinion on their condition, they can take the opportunity, as suggested by Katie, to analyze their diagnosis on the Mayo Clinic website. Using this method, Americans would likely be able to diagnose and complete many procedures in-home, such as the administration of stitches. I think all of us know at least one person who is able to do a mean hemming-job and by keeping procedures like this at home, we could drive down costs, push the edge of our American spirit, and further more, we could also help to avoid the contraction and spread of MRSA and likely H1N1 as well.

I laugh as I write this because it is so totally ridiculous and implausible. And let me tell you, this is not what I envision for our nation. I do feel that nationalized health care is the right way. It is something I think many Americans will also come to realize as their COBRA runs out and their families are left uninsured. I think the class of 2009 is realizing the importance and the horrifying impossibility of health care as we graduated and left the nest as well as our parents’ benefits packages behind. But truly, I am left saddened and disheartened by the shouting match disguised as discourse that is being broadcast on television sets across our nation every morning, noon and night because that is not how we are going to find our solution.