16 Dresses Later

What is a Monday: Yapping up my side salad from Toby Keith’s at 3 AM.  I don’t love that bar, and I really don’t love places where people don’t wash their hands or their produce.

What is a Monday: Getting the cramp from hell in my right leg.  I now completely understand why I need a Tiger Tail or a Foam Roller.  Thank God Jenna was able to provide some emergency perspective as to whether or not I should use a softball or a rolling-pin as a substitute.  The rolling-pin won.

Some Tums and Ibuprofen would probably remedy the situation, but right now I’m trying out champagne instead.  It’s because I’m a problem-solving kind of girl.

But no one wants to hear about nasty things like feeling crappy, so let’s get this show on the road!

That’s right, it’s Wedding.Dress.Time.

In case you haven’t figured it out already, I’m ruthlessly efficient as a bride.

Set a task in my path, and I will make sure that it ends as quickly and painlessly as possible.

Please note I didn’t say that “I complete the task,” because in all cases, most of the leg-work gets outsourced to Linds or the Mommas.

Case in-point: I pretended that I wanted to call and make my dress shopping appointments until Linds asked me flat-out if I wanted her to make the appointments.

So she made the two that I requested, even though as I shared with you all on Friday, I was never, ever, in a million years planning on making it to the second one.

The Dress was the second one that I tried on.  But since this is a “Once in a Lifetime” experience, you had better believe we spent two hours at David’s Bridal trying on every dress we could get our hands on.  I know that a few of the pictures are blurry, but I figure you need to see them all in order to feel the full-effect of my dress trying-on-extravaganza.

Yes, I know that you can see the awful bustier-thing sticking out the back of half of the dresses I try on.  The moment I took that gnarly thang off, everything zipped up.

This was actually the runner-up, mais non.

The beading on this one was really pretty.

This one was gorgeous, but it gave me child-bearing hips.

I was fascinated by the pleating going-on up top. It looked better in my mind than it did on.

I did, however, adore the ruffles on the back.

I know, totally blurry. I wanted to see how the lace would look with the straps. On me? Not the best.

The only one-strapped dress they had in the entire store. Can we please discuss what's going on with the "pick-ups" on either side of the dress? NOT okay.

I would have loved this dress if the top didn't have such an incredibly bizarre-cut. I want to say that it would look better on someone with a smaller torso, but then I think that the dress wouldn't actually fit them.

We wanted to switch it up and try a poufy one. Pretty, but not the one.

What is wrong with this situation: It looks like I need a maternity dress, and it came with an ass-cape. There's no way in hell that thing is a train.

Without the pleating on the stomach, this would have been a really pretty dress.

The straps on this were cute, the train was not AND the way it made my cleavage look was heinous.

This dress was made of bed sheets. And came with pockets.

This dress was Mom's pick. While it was reminiscent of that dress that the model-bride wears in The Parent Trap, it was obviously not so hot in practice.

I kind of adore the ribbon on this one.

This is the one that Sue and Michelle picked out. The bodice was completely gorgeous and made me look the skinniest I ever have. But unfortunately, the skirt was a total deal-breaker.

We tried riffing on lace again. Obviously, that didn't work so well.

Who was useless: The assistant that was assigned to us.  To put it bluntly, she was a curl-brusher.  She looked slovenly and unkempt.  I wouldn’t trust her to dress anyone else, since she obviously couldn’t dress herself.  I know that sounds kind of catty, but I was honestly astonished by this.  If I thought she was having a bad day, it wouldn’t have been as big of a deal, but she was honestly putting her best foot forward for us.

What was wonderful: My bod.  Honestly, after all of the weight I’ve heaved off in the past year, I looked (and felt) SO fantastic trying on ALL of the wedding dresses.  They fit-well and since I am all truth and no lies, it was a HUGE self-esteem booster.  Yes, I’m more vain and narcissistic than the average person.  But I would say I really did look great in most all of the dresses.  They just weren’t The Dress.

Yes, I found The Dress and because it’s sale-time at David’s Bridal, we took it home, in pristine condition on Saturday.  It fits like a glove, but is made to be taken-in two sizes or let-out one.  So next March, we’ll take care of that.

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7 responses to “16 Dresses Later

  1. I’ve gotta agree with you…you look great! I couldn’t help but notice how much smaller your boobs look these days. That must be nice. Well done!

  2. Ahhh!! You are going to be a beautiful bride, girl. I am so proud of you, you are one hottie with a body. ;)

  3. Kat!

    I wouldn’t call you vain or narcissistic at all. You’ve been working hard and totally deserve to be proud of how you look. Whether or not people confuse your combination of pride and sass with vanity… well that’s their problem. :) You work it honey! You’re going to be one stunning bride.

  4. wedding dress + pockets = ????????????????

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  7. You look so pretty!
    It’s awesome you found THE dress right away, and it looks like you had a blast trying on all the rest!
    We had to go back to David’s bridal twice before we found my dress. It was the last one I tried on, and I knew it was THE dress the moment I saw it on the hanger.
    Whoot for finding the perfect dress!

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